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While studying at Johns Hopkins University, Barth found himself writing about his native Eastern Shore Maryland in a pastiche style of middle Faulkner and late Joyce. He may have won some praise from a visiting young William Styron, but the finished opus didnt flyfor one thing, because Faulkner intimately knewhis Snopses and Compsons and Sartorises, as I did not know my made-up denizens of the Maryland marsh. The advice to write only what you know may not be worth much as a universal commandment. (*%$ WHAT THE %$#@ WAS MY MOTHER $#$#%$# THINKING!!!!!!!???? this is not a long paragraph it is multiple, I am just not as pretty as my friend Haylee she is fab so give me a chance for this job. Seeya! Just like everyone else in my family. And I've realized that I am a complete idiot. And you probably suspect that it is something pathetic. Gambling is so much fun! NO, wait. I DO NOT LIKE CHANGE! I'll add a link to the main page when I get around to it. :) Seeya! There is a world where you are a faerie. I pity them, I really do. Otherwise, I guess you're stuck with me. Space is notorious for not having air. There was a sample essay online. I'm still peeved about the cartoon owl from the Tootsie Roll Pop commercials. That's right, folks. I only signed up for a semester. -works best on pc/laptop. are completly accidental and are not the fault/responsibility of the creators. Reading requires perseverance, but once you get into the flow, its like dipping into Faulkners stream of consciousness. The fake blood seeped into the open wound. 'I found nothing else to do but to offer him on of my good Swede's ship's biscuits I had in my pocket'" And we're supposed to be GOOD in English! Yea, me! Or maybe not. Because I have nothing else to do right now. No longer does school teach use reading, riting and 'rithmitic, it now teaches us ranting, raving and rambling! I'm back. But now I realize that I am considerably more normal than the rest of my family. Oh, well. Once upon a time there lived a chief who liked to listen to stories. Those are the best kind. Because that would be impossible. (There's probably drugs in it). It sets a perfect example for you young, impressionable minds. There's more! I guess I'll just have to wait untill my imaginary clone hijacks that imaginary bank truck. That's right, a sword! And then I was unable to get on the computer and I forgot most of it. I chanced to have an interview with an informant from this evil generation (my little sister) who will be called Mrs. X for security reasons (no, she's not married, the "Mrs" makes it good as a disguise) I was quizing Mrs. X on Civil War History for an upcoming test in her classroom (whose location can not be devulged) Mrs. X seemed fluent in the subject. Do you know I never even had a computer untill just a few months ago (that's why I'm obsessivly writing here) So I won't pity you if you're computer dies for unexpected reasons. [1], As a result, one linguistics textbook concludes that, in theory, "there is no longest English sentence. I don't suppose you fell for that little thing about the refresh button. JOsh says it was only one piece of cake. Oh, and don't forget to celebrate Mad Hatter Day on October the 6th. Oh, well. In a recent article, humorist Dave Barry discussed the addictive quality of the snack food, Cheez-Its. OR, maybe it's the writing. | 13.63 KB, JSON | How did they ever afford an organ-thingy? In Math, one teeny, tiny little mistake will make you get the entire thing wrong. I'm gonna start counting how many times I say back. I then copied and pasted the German and put it in the text box. Gone would be the days when parents told children to play outside, it's a nice day. Oh, sorry, I thought you knew I was a furry. They are the samething, with the same look, and almost same name. It's just weird. Hey, I'm back again! In otherwords, she's a small yappy dog who is big for her breed. Okay, this next rant has nothing to do whatsoever with Halloweenwhich is to be expected because it's been several days since then. paste . I wonder if I've made the world record? GRAVITY IS EVIL! *sigh* I can't think of anything to write. Apparantly my standards of weird have gone up. You know, the foreign guys with the bellhop hats and the little music thingy and the cute little monkey with the bellhop hat who collects the money? Which I suppose may be a good thing, seeing as how I'm currently in a Longest Text Ever Rivalry with Galaxy Dreamer's site. WellI DO have a special treat for you weirdos who apparantly like wasting time! Fire is good. I heard something and turned around, and there he was! This seemed slightly unpracticle, so we ended up not taking that 337 mile detour. I figured you rush right on over to e-mail me. Hmmmmtime for #3You can obsessive over ANYTHING, and people will think nothing of it. If you have something better to do, why wouldn't you be doing it right now? I bet it does. Thank you Squirell. It's like this. Maybe I should just give up. The single greatest invention of the computer gods. Awwwwisn't he cute? In obscure cookbooks. When is it MYturn? I SEE WHAT IS TRANSPIRING HERE!!! I'd tell it to my little brother as a bed time story. Of course, when I started out I accidentally hit the rocks approximately three million times. You're still here, which must mean that you'd rather be here than anywhere else! Seeya. Maybe I subconsiously DO know what I'm doing here, but refuse to admit it to myself. Or perhaps not. I have once again caused that explody sensation in your brain meats! I tend to make those tiny mistakes, and get bad grades, even if I understand the concepts. That's the rant of the week, month, year, whatever. I was contemplating how my heavy load of books made me like a bulldozer and than I was about to suggest to my friend, "Meg" that we invent one. Grape Pie. Perhaps, one day, far in the future, this will actually be a world record and random people will acutally voluntarily read this text every day. 5 Wonderfully Long Literary Sentences by Samuel Beckett, Virginia Woolf, F. Scott Fitzgerald & Other Masters of the Run-On, Seven Tips From William Faulkner on How to Write Fiction, William Faulkner Reads from As I Lay Dying, Josh Jonesis a writer and musician based in Durham, NC. He goes for Trinity, makes it just in time to catch her body, and starts her heart back up. Think about it. Maybe they're here right now! Code 452 of the Flaming Chickens Handbook states that the Patron Saint of Paperclips (ME!!!) Ha! Yeah, I know, regular schedule schools do that. Was it on purpose, or was it just some mistake? Just how much time do they have on their hands. So, it is now up to you, the imaginary reader, to decide whether I mean probley or problemit's almost like a game! "Meg" wrote it for a school assignment. It's wrong, I tell you. is it the word be found in the 17th, and 18th letters? I think that such gender-specific torture should be deemed inhumane and abolished from our great societyof flaming chickens. Oh, but I did remember what else I wanted to say to you people. I don't want to play the stupid animal war card game 'cause the stupdi bear gets eaten by an eaagle.. goodbye ssslllee0yyyyslllllllleeeeeeeepppppppppppppyyyyyyyyyyy iiiiiiiiissssssssssssss gggggggggoooooooooooooddddddddddddd. As you can see, I was in a very interesting state of mind. Why do I have to work year round? I think that they should routinly die a slow, savage, agonizing deathI was just saying a random thing that I would never, ever do.) *let the panic begin! Or possibly rightthat would be scary. All this information and more is yours for the low, low price of 5 payments of $29.99! You are deviousI give you that. Isnt' that nice? I know, I took you completly by suprise. Apparantly Grape Pie isn't mainstream, but it has existed for some time. It is mandatory to procure user consent prior to running these cookies on your website. Once I got this computer, I decided to do something similar on my beloved site. It's a small light, but it's sooooooo annoying. The moment Neo woke from dreams of Trinity's death, he made a choice. The actually think that their skin's efforts to protect them are ATTRACTIVE. OF FREAKIN' COURSE IT WAS FREE! I had some conspriacy or another to rant about. So next semester I'll still have work, AP Lit, and AP Physics. Now is the time to mourn the loss of one of my most loyal readers (I think she's read the entire thing one time, which is more than anyone else has done so far) She has been banned from accesing any portion of the Internet, do to reasons that must remain confidental due to security reasons. Any way, I'm leaving to eat some Cheessy goodness! I'm sorry that my last few entries have been only about my various family antics. Now MY brain meats feel explody. Sowhen the weekend rolls around, I'm fairly exhausted. No, really. By the time you're eighty, you'll have enough ear jewelry to open up your own jewelry shop. Grapes are used to make jelly, jam, juice and raisins. Okayon to: #2 You can get out of practically anything by saying: a)It's against my religion b)I'm allergic to that. I, personally, am obsessed with, kitties, bunnies, bats, this website, drawing, making intriate little patterns with strings, doing mildly repetitive activities, being weird, apparantly making lists and cheeseand chickensand flame. Oh, well. Keep pressing it. Confusing, huh? What I want to know is this: are there no intelectual property rights in the world of food products? Hmmmmintersting. Which means that there are an infinite number of worlds with humanoid life. This action has made her very suspicious of where my loyalties lie. Because this is the first time I've been on a computer all day. It means that WAL-MART TV IS EVIL! Said order will in no way be held responsible for any damages, injuries, loss of life, limb, head, or organs. But, you should know that, since you like reading. There are not enough words in the English language to describe the sheer coolness of the fight choreography, special effects and the plot. I bet you couldn't tell. Would they dry into raisins? Now I have decided to go for a world record. Naturally, I had many mixed feelings, primarily disgust, as I have not voluntarily eaten a Cheez-It in quite some time. It would make no sense. We made a guild, and I wrote out the transcripts of the first ever Asparagus War in narrative form (mock epic, very cheesey) Since it's very, very long, I'll post it here to meet my imaginary word quota for the day! And today's rant is a sort of philosophical one. Is this eating up time? In any case, wouldn't the blinkie light help night-vision cameras see in the dark? The title contains the longest word. Most people actually like to spend long periods of time exposing their vulnerable skin to the harmful rays of the sun. *pauses* *groans* I'm sorry for that pun (pierced, hooked, getit?). Think about it. Not my family! Oh, wellI tired of nostalgia. I mean, come on! You don't belong here. During the weekdays, I get about seven hours of sleep (usually less) and wake up at 6:11 a.m. Yep. You must check out the fortunes section of the random stuff page! *giggling* It's very, very late at nite. Called the Boolean Pythagorean Triples problem, it was Solve Now. if you like our Facebook fanpage, you'll receive more articles like the one you just read! I'm gonna go hug a moose. ME: Yeah, but I told her that she'd be a terible ruler. It makes you think of Name-Brand vs. Generic cereal brands. Should you refuse to aknowledge the Patron Saint of Paper Clips as the ruler of the Internet, you will be subjected to punishment as stated in Code 343 of the Flaming Chicken Handbook (i.e. Those TACO buttons don't make themselves, you know. If you have a decent graphing calculator, plug in the infinity symbol divided by anything, (even infinity). I think I'm so tired I can't sleep. Of course, you also end life by sneezing, eating, sleeping, and watching T.V. Now no one can ever say that I don't take care of my viewers. I gives you imaginary IOU'shereyours. Because it is in those veyr colors that the Matrix is programmed! We can only hope that the digital camera manufacturers are kinder masters than the evil Kodak Lords. I know this is the best site ever, thanks for the compliment! YeahI knowpathetic. This is specified in Code: 343 of the Flaming Chicken Handbook. Won't that be fun? They avoided the sun at all costs. I love it! Now who's the crazy one? In the mean time, I'll just sit here and type with my eyes closed. Make your wife happy by sending her any of these romantic long paragraphs here. Let's keep in touch. So. Hits all right. Define three functions: the first function to extract all the sentences, the second to determine the longest sentence, and the third to determine the average sentence length. Perhaps my family is just so weird, we've lost all sense of perspective. "lower the quality"? Math is so picky. Pythagoras Theorem is a + b = c. After much deliberation, she decided that she wouldn't eat. I don't think there actually are any. I'm back! But opting out of some of these cookies may affect your browsing experience.