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With the lowest fertility rate in the . Time passed and we just got comfortable being there. Tell her at home and in private. I would say take a step back and analyze why you are not connecting with him and see if things could be different if you two had some changes. I JUST came here to vent not telling people I'm snobby or lazy which I've never been! My two oldest remember some fighting and the divorce. Once the humiliation of being in a loveless marriage is confronted, it can be accepted and even result in a long-term relationship. I got my, now wife, pregnant but she never loved me, in fact a month before she got pregnant she actually went to spend the night with some dude at a hotel in a different city, but she told me she just wanted to go away for a couple of days. As a woman, you get insulted for doing it, and you get insulted for not doing it. You have to do what you feel is right. Be responsible of your act and decision on something. I dont want to jump into marriage as if its a job contract I am signing expecting that one day it will expire. And beware if your list of reasons is merely a hollow echo of your partner's. 3. long story short. I would be too miserable too even think of looking at other women. Be strong. And if you guys were just friends with benefits, why continue the pregnancy? Nobody really knows what to expect when having a baby, but it does change everything, even if you're determined it won't. Some people may view the prospect of that change as scary and they may doubt their parental skills." But we started fighting more and more. Immerse yourself in nature. Some men can be very guarded and closed when it comes to expressing how they feel - it can almost feel like they are pulling away from you and leaves you wondering whether he's actually into you. I tried to keep them happy and not see the fighting. Second thing that you can do after having a baby with someone you don't want to be with, how to deal with it is to be responsible. Broken heart is a usual thing but, what is bad is the action that people choose to take to heal the broken heart itself. I have a good job with good income and will pay half of the costs, I didn't want to lose her but I did. Long story short my ex dumped me. I mean really a woman gets pregnant with your child and there are no options but to marry her? I hated the way I felt with him. It may be tolerable now, but it sounds like you are unhappy. But, then again, falling in love is always phenomenal and terrifying. It doesn't, does it? Having children is not cheap. Don't assume the baby will be just like his daddy, your baby may have a few similarities to him cause he's his child but your baby will be one of a kind in your eyes. Are these issues still there? Though it didn't work out, I never regretted it. There are reasons you should know and love yourself before you love someone else that will remind you to be true to yourself. I know things would be going so much smoother in my life if I wasn't preggo but there hasn't been a day I questioned my love for this baby. Learn more about. OK LETS TRY TO LOOK AT WHAT IS: IS ANYONE THINKING ABOUT THIS FROM THE CHILD PERSPECTIVE? Do i tell my boyfriend i slept with someone else during short break up? I don't know how I can be a great weekend father. ALL THIS TRANSLATE TO THE CHILD. Remember, the decision you make will decide whether you will be happy or not in the near future. Some of us got promoted while pregnant or found new jobs, it is not impossible. After having a baby, a woman will be, on average, 2.5 to 5 lbs. Your best bet might be to stay with your gf for now, bond with your child and forge a relationship with him/her. Welcoming your new baby with wishes of health, joy and plenty of sleep. !I've been married for ten long miserable years to a wife I never loved. I was supposed to be the one. Its been almost 5yrs. we had protected sex twice, in December, and I got pregnant. But there's a catch: Because you believe that having this child means more to you than not having this child means to your husbandand because he had originally agreed to three kidsyour. CLARITY friend you do make a lot of sense. Well of course he would keep the car. We didn't have to be. I'm supposed to get married in a month. I know daddies who didn't feel a connection to their babies until they held them for the first time and like someone else said, maybe that'll be the case for you. Eventually I grew to love him, but not the fairy tale kind of love. Sooner or later it'll be over. seriously.. i find it hard to understand SOME MEN. THIS IS THE ENVIROMENT IN THIS SITUATION. She has someone who depends solely on her. He's controlling you since you are 100% dependent on him. It's no one else's responsibility to support you. The stories of council-flat, benefit scrounger single mums are so far-fetched. useless boy!! 'Don't expect rewards in love': woman, 32, who desperately wants a baby says she dated 100 men in a year, renewing marriage pressure debate in China A woman went on more than 100 dates. No we were together 3 months when I got pregnant. Why can't you go back to doing what you were doing before you met? I'm curious as to how he is selfish?? But I want to be a father. Women are doing everything they can to get contraception. Saturday 4 Mar 2023 10:00 am. A Group Leader is a What to Expect community member who has been selected by our staff to help maintain a positive, supportive tone within a group. This is reason why i always advice Ladies that they need to STOP creating soul ties by sexing guys Sex isnt better than love its about time you Let the men know in upfront that you are not having sex before marriage. Maybe you will need to learn on how to get revenge on a frenemy. Oh, I agree 100%. Chandra is a mom of three boys (8, 4, and 3) and the founder of Oh Lovely Day, a lifestyle blog with a honest look at motherhood.She is trying to create more of an open dialogue with a no . Most were married to . *I also grew up in a home where my parents were unhappy. Im in the exact same boat man. @Teejay,hahahahaha, that cracked me up, but coming back to the issue, what da hell???? Knowing that you don't want to have the relationship with someone, you will never be able to fake your feelings for temporary happiness. Good luck! It depends on the person. And I still do. I don't feel that he is someone that I want to be with forever. @jessi, how come i never get to meet these kind of guys,i swear i would have cut off your stupid sausage,put in the toilet and flush it off nonsence, @jessi, maame plz its rude to cut sumones sausage.sincerely the fault might come from the gal,maybe she did self arrangement ahohyehy3.and resulted in the pregnancy. I've been trying to put my pride/ego/whatever aside and be with her, but it really kills me. Not that it matters - if you have feelings for someone else, you can't be in love with your gf so sounds like leaving is the right decision, as staying together for a child with someone you don't love never works out in the long run. Drop me a comment below to let me know what you think. Is anyone in the same situation. Life will not be easier staying with him. Can you be responsible enough to make sure you are being safe? Welcome to the world little one! He's provided for me financially, has given me a house and a car, and is really into being a father. His baby mama got engaged to some dude while pregnant calls her fiance the kid's 'daddy', despite my friend wanting to be a father to his child. And you will also need to take a firm decision on what you think is best to be done. In the workplace, women with youthful faces are often more successfuland make solid leaders.On the other hand, though, some baby-faced women get passed overfor challenging tasks and leadership roles. My pregnant girlfriend doesnt seem to want me around. Think about it if you can't love him ever then end it and learn to co parent. Unless GF is somehow unfit, she'll get custody, meaning she makes the calls and gets support (e.g. In the time that I got pregnant I feel that I was in a daze thinking I was in love but recently I feel like I snapped out of it. Being pregnant isn't an excuse to work not work, I worked up until I was 38 weeks along by choice. Regret will always be there when we made a mistake. Does it feels good to fake your feelings? Know his concern about the current situation and discuss. I thought the same! But I don't know if I can be with her for the rest of my life. Life is beautiful but you don't have a clue Sun and ocean blue Their magnificence, it don't make sense to you Black beauty, oh oh oh Black beauty, oh oh oh I paint the house black My wedding dress black leather too You have no room for light Love is lost on you I keep my lips red To seem like cherries in the spring Darling, you can't let everything Hi everyone! I was By entering this site you declare We only dated for three months before I got pregnant. They had to do it because the marriage was arranged or demanded, as their families saw them as a burden and financial responsibility to be passed on to a man who was willing to take her off their hands. Take this advice as if your life depends on it. Americans love coffee. If you don't love her then don't be with her. Having a complex relationship that involves a baby mama means you have to include the other woman in your life; whether you like it or not. They were always fighting, unhappy. If thats all he wants, he will be gone. And when the oldest child was about 10, I finally left. You had the intention to be with someone for fun without taking the consequences seriously. I pretended to be. My kids are doing good. I have heard that arranged marriages actually have a better long term outcome because of this. Man up and take care of your kid, but UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES can you let her, or her family, or your family guilt trip you into "doing the right thing" and marrying her. Satisfaction can be found through bringing up children . Idnt also think the said mother would marry someone who wouldnt make her happy. Okay so long story very short my ex gi Long story short, My current girlfriend keeps in contact wit Long story short. Sounds like she was looking for a sugar daddy and ended up getting pregnant. I know that my kids love us both. Nobody forces you to live with him, if you really don't like him, you can find a job and leave. You should do what will make you happy. She doesn't want an abortion, and I know it sounds terrible but I keep hoping she will miscarry, however she is 16weeks gone and that's unlikely . Good luck to you. The way you wrote that sounds like you think what a man wants is not as important as what a woman wants. What to Expect supports Group Black and its mission to increase greater diversity in media voices and media ownership. The guy I was seeing was fun to party with but I didn't love him. I feel that i have fallen into serious depression and i might seek some professional help. That's what we tackle in today's blog. You will need to know on how to get a Taurus man make a decision due to your current situation. . Don't get me wrong here, my daughter can destroy with the best of them. BE A MANam done. advice needed h heatha_heatha Posted 2/4/14 My boyfriend and I have only been together since November. I didn't want to end up starting a family in my 50s. My ex won't come back to me after I hurt h Ex girlfriend is pregnant with her new boyfriend months after breaking up with me. love should beget love and not hate or fear..something society always Rightfully so! If she says she doesn't want the relationship then that's fine but if a man says he doesn't then that's selfish. A year has passed, we have a beautiful little girl that I love with all my heart, but our marriage life is a disaster. You've been clear with him from the start. We are two total opposite people. Same boat. I feel like I'm trapped and no where to go. If you feel a message or content violates these standards and would like to request its removal please submit the following information and our moderating team will respond shortly. Your bodies will fit together perfectly. The relationship seems new and I know that is hard. Dont ever sleep with any girl you are not sure abt. You need to discuss with him so that you won't need to face the how do I deal with a break up while I am still pregnant his baby alone. What can I do please? If you don't like something about your life, MAKE A CHANGE. They finally divorced when I was 19. Women, in particular, have a growing awareness of the benefits of having babies when they're ready and not having more than they can provide for. Babies can put stress on a couple because it requires both mom and dad to give of themselves. I wasn't happy. If you have the "baby blues" you might not notice the sadness or moodiness right away. I know this is not the time to criticise as the harm has already been caused, but i will still ask: If you claim you dnt love someone, how on earth did u get involved with her, let alone put her in the family way? Just that simple. It's not that they don't want to. Send all yourrelationship&Loveproblems/issues to me for help via [emailprotected]. She got pregnant 3 months after meeting him. Archived discussions are usually a bit older and not as active as other community content. This is nuts. Honestly if I wouldn't of gotten pregnant I would not be with him. Features: Kris Fluffy named herself aptly - "fluffy" because she says she doesn't shave a single hair on her body. no one is going to be happy in that relationship. As opposed to hanging out with friends and other men she isn't in love with, she may be much more outgoing and boisterous. Mary Morris Former Bookkeeper Author has 285 answers and 1.6M answer views 2 y He is capable of choosing to be with you and not having a child with you, or leaving if he decides he wants a child more. know it's right to give her the fact straight but she is just a really nice person, and I feel really **** you know! The way you speak to yourself has a lot to do with the way you view your situation. As for my girlfriend, I love this person and i will do my best to make it work out. **** will get tough before it gets better, but it will work out in the end. I have many regrets from the past and can't bear to add another one to the long list. the most helpful and trustworthy pregnancy and parenting information. My daughter was born healthy, but of course small. This site is protected by reCAPTCHA and the Google Privacy Policy and Terms of Service apply. I do not know the answer to that. Hey I know exactly how you feel. ( though I don't see the first one as a mistake because making babies should not be a mistake.it is the natural order of things).you cant force people to do things out of their wishes and desires. She needs someone that truly loves her. You could have an easy pregnancy, a quick easy delivery and a healthy happy baby. What are the reasons for not wanting to be with her? the repercussions and consequences of such an act always plays out. More answers below Quora User Managing Partner (Solicitor) & Mechanical Engineer Author has 20.3K answers and 10.7M answer views 1 y Personally, I think you should only have sex with people you are in love with. Shy behavior A woman who is in love with you will start to be unusually shy. 4. IS THAT WHAT SHE/HER DESERVES A GARANTEED **** UP ENVRIOMENT? I feel bad for you but you basically gave him the green light to control you. Second, if she were to make that decision previously to have an abortion for whatever reason you are not someone whose opinion matters since you're on an Internet forum and you don't know the personal lives of anyone on here enough to dictate that they should never have an abortion. K lemme get one thing straight. Leaving a pregnant girlfriend with your child, in my view is very selfish and irresponsible. BUTI had such a crappy childhood, I valued that more than I did my own personal happiness. I'm Michelle Devani and would like to take this opportunity to welcome you to my site. They didn't want to break up the family. He has been nothing but supportive, but I do not love him. My greatest concern is the child. To not make the problem goes worse, be responsible for your unwanted partner and the baby. Fertility is amazing, making a baby with your own body is an unreal magical power, feeding that baby with your body is some kind of sci-fi-fantasy level of madness. i know for sure u dated her for longer b4 she got pregnant start looking at the quality this gal have n think of ur daughter after that give her a chance n delete that mind of not loving her out of ur mind n married her ..am sure God will give u new hrt to love her.. Sorry I must've misread. The longer you stay with him the more he's going to think you do have feelings for him and it will only hurt him more in the end. "We are. All i will advice him to do is to sit the girl in question down and talk to her in a matured way. Ex gf keeps driving past my house!!? AND THIS ALSO INCLUDES AN UNHAPPY CHILD. Is she shaka Zulu or she is not attracted to u?? Group Black's collective includes Essence, The Shade Room and Naturally Curly. He bought it and it is in his name. We won't agree with you, if we think you are not right, sorry, girl! Where are you from? As I read the last couple lines I typed, I sound so selfish. Sure, most couples are madly "in love" at first, but as time goes on I think most people who have been married 10, 20, 50+ years will say that love is first a choice and then feelings follow and there are some hard times when the feelings are not there and all you are left with is the choice to show love to this person. Love My Boyfriend Wants To Have A Baby With Another Woman By Alex Alexander Written on Dec 23, 2022 Photo: fizkes / Shutterstock When I met my polyamorous boyfriend , Buddy, I couldn't. Might not happen overnight but think of where you want to see yourself in a year. Use of this site is subject to our terms of use and privacy policy. 1. No passion. But, learning from the past and making it as a lesson is a different story. (1 to 2 kg . Anyways, we decided to get marry after finding out that she was pregnant, even though I had my doubts if it was my baby or not. I My ex-girlfriend is pregnant. After I really got to know him without drinking and partying, I found out I didn't like his personality. Now i have sleepless nights trying to find an angle but without success. For more information, please see our start communicatin with her without quarrellin give her a try n am sure things gonna work out Or r u afraid u wont be able to sleep around or play ur games wen she step into urlife dear dwag such life n face reality. sit the lady down n explain things to her and the most important thing is take very good care of your child. I feel like I'm forcing myself to love her. My youngest doesn't really remember anything. Please select a reason for escalating this post to the WTE moderators: Connect with our community members by starting a discussion. I love my daughter and i care about my wife but there is no love on my end. no wonder we have the type of problems we have in our communitieswe are always reacting instead of thinking.. you cant correct a mistake or problem with another people.. He made a baby with you but doesn't seek out or make an effort to spend time with his daughter. JP friend, thanks for taking the time to read my post and offer your advise. Reach out to your family and let them know what's going on. In fact, before we found out I was pregnant (which was completely unplanned) I was thinking of breaking up with him. So remember to try to be the best of you. Gabrielle Union and Dwyane Wade have welcomed their first baby to their family. if she wants to put kid in day care every day, she can and you pay for it). It originally aired on the Fox network in the United States on January 22, 1995. It was ok if we didn't want to be together. You're an adult. She knows him for 9 MONTHS not years. Girl sits on her partner, he turning her on the back. Good luck to you. If something that can work out for you to try loving her, that would be most ideal. I got pregnant and was pressured to get married. So family pressured us to get married. Twins & Multiples: Your Tentative Time Table, Planned c section too presumptuous??? 37 weeks today. The ex and i still argue sometimes but you have to learn when to shut up. Copyright 2017 - 2022 by LoveDevani.com. By Simon Maybin. Will you make a better progress by doing so? Sadly having a baby can create a rift between parents. That's a bummer sadly, the pill can and often does fail, even if its taken 100% properly and on time (and it usually isn't), so you have to be REALLY careful with someone you dont want to reproduce with, as many men have found before you. This after-pregnancy condition is common, with roughly 70 to 80 percent of new mamas experiencing some degree of sadness. In other words, those maternal. Spend time with like-minded people who love and respect your choices. My current girlfirend got pregnant while on the mini pill. Note that once you confirm, this action cannot be undone. form is an illusion. If I could do something different, it would be to divorce as soon as my last daughter was born. If you don't like him, you don't have to live with him or use him. Back then I loved her and I felt sorry for her because she took the decision of getting marry to me even though she didn't love me. I honestly could not ever think of missing out on this child's growing up, especially the early stages. This is why i found it hard to break up with her although I'd thought about it many times in the past. Would I do it again? Though they don't have a child, Oprah and Stedman have been together for decades and have no intention of being married. FTM. We work hard to share our most timely and active conversations with you. I make significantly more income then her, so I know she will need the child support, which will at least allow me to be in my child's life, but I don't want my child to be exposed to an unhappy marriage. A. Support yourself. Group Leaders arent expected to spend any additional time in the community, and are not held to a set schedule. I want to be a father!!! SCENARIO 4: BE TRUTHFUL TO THE PREGNANT GIRLFRIEND AND LET HER ALSO HAVE SAY AS TO WHAT SHE WANTS. We keep them up because there are a ton of great conversations here and we believe you deserve to see them all. The transition from being a couple to having a baby and becoming parents is an exciting, empowering, and life-changing experience. SHE WILL ALSO HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO THINK ABOUT WHAT'S BEST FOR HER CHILD. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. Thanks again JP. I've been with my boyfriend for years and I still don't know if I love him. It was important to me that my children had as normal upbringing as possible. But shes not the type, shes fond of me un-necessarily. The educational health content on What To Expect is reviewed by our medical review board and team of experts to be up-to-date and in line with the latest evidence-based medical information and accepted health guidelines, including the medically reviewed What to Expect books by Heidi Murkoff. You need to be upfront and honest nothing is worse than being lied to when feelings are involved. Be true to yourself and you will allow yourself to get things that you deserve. She was expressing her feelings and thoughts about feeling like she won't love her child which she should probably talk to her doctor or a therapist about since I'm pretty sure there is a form of depression you can have before having the child but can't think of the name of it off the top of my head. My father married my mother when she became pregnant times were different then of course. I know quite a few mothers who weren't ready (not that anyone ever is) to have a baby when they did and just grew to resent their child. You do make a lot of sense and i guess this is the only way forward. Open-Ended Questions To Ask A Girl (205 Open Ended Questions To Ask A Girl), How To Make A Girl Blush Over Text (101 Things To Say), How To Compliment A Girl Over Text (141 Ways), Qualities Of A Good Woman (29 Vital Qualities), How Often Should You Text A Girl To Keep Her Interested (25 Helpful Tips), Signs A Married Woman Wants You To Make A Move (23 Signs To Look For), How To Turn On A Woman With Words (155 Tips), 27 Obvious Signs A Woman Wants To Sleep With You, Reasons Why Pisces Man Loves Scorpio Woman (9 Interesting Reasons), If He Doesnt Introduce You To His Friends, What Does It Mean? Please select a reason for escalating this post to the WTE moderators: Connect with our community members by starting a discussion. And 3 children. To imagine her saying, "I'm here for you baby." We all need more than the . Hair. Right? 1997-2023 BabyCenter, LLC, a Ziff Davis company. You need a job and a plan so that you don't get stuck with him forever. I'm sorry this is long but I have no one else. I don't know if this is pregnancy hormones (I am only 5 weeks) or if I really feel this way. It just reads so snobby and lazy. Many things will change during the whole 9 months of pregnancy. When a woman loves you, she's kind to you. HAPINESS IS AN INDIVIDUAL RESPOSIBLITY. GET A DNA TEST AS SOON AS THE CHILD IS BORN!!! He's not all bad. bcus a womens cry n tongue is very sharp. 37 weeks today. I unfortunately love my ex I have tried to forgets my ex but I can't. I want to be a great Dad, but I don't want to be miserable for the next 18 years - I don't know what to do. So, we got married. You both mature guys so kindly sit her down and explain with vital reasons to her as to why just cant marry her but be sure to do it in a spirit of gentleness less you provoke her and all plans fade cos gals can be crazy at times when provoked. To allow yourself to stay in a toxic relationship will be useless. I don't want to burden her with any of this, especially now that she needs to be calm and feel secure. It tears me apart. You are right it is not fair to her. To begin, the average cost of vaginal delivery in the US, with health insurance, is $4,300. Opinions please. When I had my first baby as a young single mom, I didn't have a car and I figured it out with the help of my family. not the father, mother or child. Trust me dude, do whatever you have to to end this A.S.A.P. Man and woman making love in bed. This educational content is not medical or diagnostic advice. The issue is she is healthcare prof and works in OBS/GYN so there is no way way she would have an abortion, she has just been involved in too many such procedures and its just not for her. Privacy Policy. Add to Favorites. He's provided for me financially, has given me a house and a car, and is really into being a father. I guess I'm just looking for someone on the same boat because I really wish I could have someone to talk to. . If you don't want a baby, then you won't be having one. How I wish she can understand and let me leave my life and be free. Don't let ANY women determine for you when you will become a father! I don't get how you came to that conclusion and you are just a bitter girl that If you've only been together 3 mos, where did you live before you met? I had been seeing the guy (now DH) exclusively since August of 2011. A Group Owner is a member that has initiated the creation of a group to connect with other members to share their journey through the same pregnancy & baby stages. If you're dating a woman who doesn't want to have kids, you should know whether or not you do. The altnerative is to stay with a woman you don't love and that is a lose-lose all around, even for the kid who will be able to sense his parents don't love each other. 2. You're sort of talking like you want a sugar daddy. SCENARIO 3: FORGET ABOUT THE WOMAN YOU LOVE. What to Expect supports Group Black and its mission to increase greater diversity in media voices and media ownership. I know many people that don't feel a connection to their babies for whatever reason until they are born, it happens and it will definitely change once you see his little face. We are deciding if we should divorce now or later when she is bigger. as expected the women are been overly sentimental, ganging up on the guy insulting, and throwing reason out the window. When I did he the. Lovers have a fun in comfortable room. Apply for wic and food stamps and move in with family. To think about the kids. bumboclaath mi nuh hv any advice fi u.battybwoy! Don't create a situation where you are stuck and can be controlled like that.